INFECTIOUS INSANITY AMONG TODAY’S MEN AND WOMEN 

WORRYFREE FARMERS ENTWINE THEMSELVES 

WITH DIRT CATTLE AND COUNTRY WIVES 

NEPOTISM AND INBREEDING GO HAND IN HAND  

NOT JUST WITH THE ROYAL POLICE BUT ALSO 

RECRUITING OFFICERS AND MARINE MINISTERS AND CORVETTE CAPTAINS  

AND FIELD MARSHALS AND FIELD MISTRESSES 

REQUISITIONED FROM THE RESERVES  

MISERABLE SOULS DIG THEIR OWN GRAVES  

ALL FOR A GUN SALUTE AND LULLABY  

SLEEP AND HUNGER PREVAIL  

THE MONARCH LOSES TRACK OF TIME  

AND IS OVERRUN BY HIS OWN COURT  

MANSIONS AND PALACES ARE PERFORATED  

THE VATICAN VACILLATES 

CHINESE ROYAL DAUGHTERS SMUGGLE THEIR VIRGINITY 

OUT OF THEIR ROYAL LANDS 

ACCOMPANIED BY SILK BUTTERFLIES  

THE STRONGEST TREES BREAK FREE FROM THE UNDERGROWTH 

SWELLS OF CLOUDS BILLOW SKYWARD  

THE SEA SWALLOWS THE CONTINENTS  

WHILE BIRDS DRAG THE HORIZON ALONG 

SKIFFS ARE OVERTAKEN IN A STORM  

FORCING THEM OFF THEIR SMUGGLING ROUTES  

QUARTERDECKS ARE CLEARED OF SAILORS  

AND LOADED WITH PIGS AND FAIR MAIDENS  

THE CHILDREN OF THE NATIVES ARE CAST OUT  

AND SKINNED ON THE STERN WITH THE BIRDS AND FISH 

THEIR FATHERS GET THEIR HEADS CAVED IN 

IF THEY ARE TOO STUPID OR TOO CLEVER  

A BLOODBATH SOUNDS BEST AT SEA 

HER MAJESTY COULD SHARPEN A KNIFE  

AND JOIN THE BRAWL 

SPEWING POISON AND HACKING AWAY  

THE MOATS ARE OVERFLOWING  

WITH COLD SWEAT  

PESSIMISM REIGNS FROM THE STALLS  

ALL THE WAY TO THE BALLS  

MECHANICAL WARFARE SHOOK ENEMIES AND ALLIES ALIKE 

NOW ANYONE COULD GO TO WAR ON A WILD HORSE   

AND DEFEAT A WHOLE REGIMENT  

ALL TO BE STABBED IN THE BACK BY A CHAPLAIN  

ANYONE CAN TAKE UP THE CROSS  

EVEN JESUS STUCK HIMSELF UP THERE  

THEN SKIPPED AWAY  

ACROSS THE ATMOSPHERE 

THE TITANIC WAS PACKED WITH REFUGEES  

THE ARISTOCRATS’ CHILDREN FLOATED TOPSIDE  

BUT THEIR FORTUNES SANK  

THE WEARIEST WIDOWS FOUND ROOM IN THE LIFEBOATS 

LAND DEEDS AND TRAVELLERS’ CHEQUES STICKING OUT OF THEIR TITS 

PROUD FRIGATES LAY SIDEWAYS ON THE WAVES  

LEAVE ME A CESSPOOL IN DENMARK  

IF THAT’S WHERE I BELONG 

THE QUEEN HAS YET TO LEAVE HER OWN HEIR  

SO MUCH AS A BARREL OF SAND  

MERCENARIES AND DAY LABORERS CROSS THE CHANNEL 

FEELINGS OF SOLIDARITY AND SUB-ZERO TEMPERATURES 

MASQUERADES AND TIRADES  

ALL THE TRAITORS TEARS 

ON THE ROYAL STAGE  

THIS TIME WE’LL SPAR WITH BEAUTY AND WIT  

OR RAW POWER AND PERVERSITY 

I SHALL OUTDO ALL MY KIND  

AND FORCE THEM TO LIVE A HUMBLE AND RELIGIOUS LIFE  

I’M CAUGHT BETWEEN TWO MEN WITH BAD BREATH 

THERE IS A DEVILISH AURA AROUND ME 

WHIRRING AND BAROQUE IN THE BACKGROUND 

WE DRANK WINE WITH THE SAME URGENCY 

THAT SOBER PEOPLE DRINK WATER  

AND I FELT PURSUED BY MY OWN WAYS 

IT WON’T BE THE COMMON MAN’S CENTURY ANYWAY   

SO GET OUT OF THE WAY 

AND DON’T RUN INTO THE FIELDS   

RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HARVEST 

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Jordan Barger is a translator of Norwegian and Danish, with an MFA in Literary Translation from The University of Iowa. Translations have appeared in Poetry Magazine, Poetry Review UK, FENCE and Sleepingfish XX. Their translation of Sigbjørn Obstfelder’s The Red Drops appeared onstage in Philadelphia thanks to Sewer Rats Productions.